The Art of Rejection By: JeffIgnacio
Under: Interview, Life Coaching, Now What?, UndergraduateEveryone going through the interview process is going to feel a different set of emotions against other candidates. Some candidates will walk in feeling nervous while their anxiety levels soar. Did I interview well? Did I forget to mention something that they wanted to hear? On the other hand there will be candidates who walk in feeling confident or possibly, and least desirable, arrogant. Either way you look at it, this person is going to have an interview knowing full well their arsenal of responses and personal anecdotes. Whether or not you fall in the camp of the former or the latter, you will go through the process and will receive a result: pass or not pass.
THE END OF TUNNEL SPLITS INTO PATHWAYS
Passing through a round of interviewing could either mean going to the next round or the big prize: an offer (and hopefully it’s a good one). Not passing means you have fallen out of the current interviewing process. Don’t pass go, don’t collect $200. Sorry buddy. At FD Edge we set you up for all of the proactive tools to help improve your chances of ‘passing’ and positioning yourself closer to the prize. I wanted to focus on the other side of the interview process. The ugly one. The giant elephant hiding in the corner. The rejection.
CINDERELLA’S SLIPPERS REALLY ARE NOT MADE OF GLASS
In this world I truly believe there are only two things in this world that motivate us into action or inaction: pleasure and pain. When we act on something we tend to look ahead and anticipate the result. Otherwise we would be wasting our time wouldn’t we? For example, I volunteered for a camp believing I was doing it for the good of the community. By the end of my volunteering I knew I enjoyed volunteering and that it fed my soul: the pleasure side of things. On other occasions we will act on the belief that what we’re doing will reduce the pain. We fear the pain. The need to protect ourselves is an instinct ingrained into every creature on this planet. When we interview and, hopefully not in every case, are rejected we start to rationalize everything about it.
They weren’t a good firm anyway. They were my backup option. I wasn’t interested in their field in the first place.
I would respond to these three examples in the following ways:
1) Well maybe you’re right, perhaps they’re only a mediocre firm but you must have been interested to some degree if you sent your resume over there.
2) Now that you have been rejected, you don’t have a backup option right now. I think you had a backup option so you could mitigate the risk. Without it, I think you’ve just increased your risk in some ways haven’t you?
3) You sent your resume didn’t you?
Rejection is painful. It hurts. I wake up hoping for the pleasure rather than the pain. The same principle applies to interviewing.
THE FROWN
When I went through the recruitment process for my first post undergrad job (my first REAL job) I used a very well thought out method of applying: applying to every company that ever existed. All in all I think I had sent my resume to over 20 firms, got 15 interview requests, and killed any chance I would be going to class that quarter at UCLA. In the end I received 10 second rounds, 6 third rounds, and 5 final round interviews and 3 offers.
If interviewing could be turned to dating here is what would have happened.
- I asked out 20 women (crazy right?).
- 5 of them said no way would they ever go out with me on a first date.
- Out of the 15 who did go out with me on a first date 10 of them thought perhaps a second date would be fine.
- 4 of the 10 decided to give me a no go after the second.
- On my third dates I received one more rejection.
- And right when I was about to take them to Disneyland 2 of them decided to tell me we should just be friends.
You are going to be rejected in your life at some point. No way around it.
When we are rejected we should start looking at why we were rejected. What were the main factors that I was not selected? Here are the most common (and in no particular order):
1) Other candidates had a better track record (academic or leadership)
2) My skill sets and experiences did not align with the position requirements
3) My personality was not a fit with their corporate culture
4) I showed up 30 minutes late to my interview
Whatever the reason for rejection, there is ‘something’ they were looking for and you did not convey or persuade them to believe you had more of that ‘something’ over the other candidates.
TURNING UPSIDE DOWN
At the end of the day the recruiters are going to go back to their firms and decide who should be on the cast of their next show, who gets the pass. Your day does not end when you receive a rejection. Go home and write a letter thanking them for the process. I highly suggest you write the letter with the intention of having them write you back. Ask for feedback. Ask them what they were looking for. Ask them what you could do to improve not just your interviewing skills but your whole set of skills and to make recommendations. Keep active and do it for the long haul. Find something during the rapport building section of the interview to tie into. Get connected with this person. Something I like to do is to set reminders to send an e-mail every once in awhile to that person. You never know what type of impression you might make and where that could lead you down the road. Stay positive.
THE CORPORATE WORLD IS A SMALL PLACE
Burn your bridges and you will find it much harder to find a job down the road. Suppose you work on a team with four other members and years later they all leave. You burned your bridges along the way. The next year you decide to leave and apply for all four of these firms. What you’ve done is create a negative impression to the four firms that are considering you. Play it safe and don’t play with fire.
Imagine you practicing the principle of continually keeping in touch with people. What happens when you apply to those four firms now? You’ve created a positive and lasting impression to the marketplace.
POSITIVITY
Staying positive and continually creating goodwill will yield results. We receive an education when we make mistakes. We learn when we are rejected. Take any and all rejections to heart and turn it into an opportunity, you never know when it will yield good results.
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