Nov28th

Sarge the Speaker By: Jun Loayza

Under: Experienced Hire, Networking, Undergraduate

Last week, I attended an entrepreneur web 2.0 conference called GABA – the German American Business Association.  Everyone in the room was German, and to be honest, I stuck out like a soar thumb.  In a way, my not being German worked to my advantage because people remember meeting someone who sticks out from the crowd.  After the speaker panel finished talking, I spoke with some good people, grabbed a drink, and decided to wallflower for a bit.  What I saw was absolutely amazing.

When people begin to network and meet people outside of their comfort zone, the room transforms into the spitting image of any night club or lounge that you find in Hollywood.  The room was separated into small groups of people.  I could see two-sets and three-sets, where each group was interacting in their own unique way.  The speakers (who were in high demand) were always engaged in a conversation with one person and always had one person waiting in silence to speak with them.  How many times have you found yourself in that situation?  You wait your turn for what seems like forever because the guy in front of you keeps talking on and on with the speaker.  STOP BEING THAT PERSON!

From my point of view (as the observant wallflower) the person standing in silence looks very pathetic.  Think of networking as a game, similar to one where you play at a bar where you try to pick up someone of the opposite sex.  A beautiful woman (in this case the speaker) at a bar is rarely ever alone and almost always engaged in conversation with someone (the guy in front of you talking to the speaker).  You have two options if you wish to speak with her: you can open the set and begin speaking with both, or you can demonstrate to her that you are of high value by taking command of the room and making your presence felt. 

If you are waiting in silence for your turn to talk with the speaker, then you are demonstrating lower value.  In the speaker’s perspective, you seem like a desperate guy who will only be able to take from him rather than there being a mutual benefit between you and the speaker.  Therefore, you need to sarge or “pick up” the speaker.  Instead of waiting your turn, constantly interact with people throughout the room.  Make sure that you are in the vicinity of the speaker so that you can see when he is free to talk and so that he can see you engaged with people as well.  People want to be around people who others like and find interesting.  Demonstrate to the speaker that you’re not desperate to meet him or her.  Show the speaker that you have high value because other people find you interesting and want to speak with you.

In the dating game, women (and men) enjoy the chase.  If you shower a woman with compliments and affection when you first meet her, she will quickly lose interest in you.  Showering your target with compliments is another form of showing lower value.  In the same way you don’t want to compliment a woman at a bar, you do not want to over compliment and praise the speaker at a networking event.  Show him or her respect by acknowledging that you were listening to what he or she said, but give them honest feedback and comments rather than simple I-completely-agree-with-what-you-said answers.  Try to disagree and provide a different point of view to what they said (in a respectful manner) because the speaker will remember the person who showed them something knew.  The key is to stand out from the rest of the crowd.

True networking is fun and a great way to meet people and make friends.  However, if you find yourself failing to leave an impression in the minds of the speaker, it is time to sarge the speaker.

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